Meghan Garcia – Our Special Kind of Life

Be Strong: Stay Positive

Posted on March 22, 2020March 23, 2020 by Meghan Garcia

Going on day 11 of being completely quarantined. The kids and myself have only left our house to go on a walk or play in our backyard, Rick has only left to go to the store twice to get essentials. There have been many times throughout the past few days that I, myself, have felt like breaking down and I know my kids have been feeling the stress as well. Unfortunately, there is so much that is out of our control besides doing our part and be committed to social distancing. One thing that I will be better at and do my best to promote, especially in my house, is positivity.

I have been thinking a lot over the past 11 days, especially since I have had extra time with no sports or extracurricular activities to part take in. Here are some positives that I have identified and would like to point out :

We, as a family, are spending some much needed quality, uninterrupted, time together.
My family has been eating a home cooked breakfast, lunch and dinner every day.
We are spending less money on non-essentials or outside activities, which will impact our savings in a positive way.
My children have been the most creative I have seen them in a long while; creating videos, playing new games and creating beautiful artwork for me to display all throughout the house.
Rick has been able to focus and practice baseball and basketball one on one with Ricky Bear. Normally, he has to teach and coach about 10 other boys so it is nice to see him play with just Ricky (and Grace too).
We are all able to have more time to learn sign language as a family.
While it has been an adjustment for Rick and I to both work from home, I am grateful that we both have jobs and that they are able to be done remotely.
I am also grateful to have this extra time with Rick, having him home more has been a blessing and I know the kids enjoy spending more time with him too.
My house has never been cleaner!
Getting a bunch of house projects done.
I am saving on laundry, since we are mostly wearing pajamas all day😬
We have a roof over our heads and my pantry and cabinets are stocked with all that we need to survive.
I have amazing friends who have continued to be there for each other through all of this – NONE OF US are in this alone.
Most importantly, my family is safe and healthy and staying free of illness.

Yes there are a lot of negatives that we can all dwell on, but right now I am choosing to focus on the positives. Hope you all can too!

Since March is still CP Awareness month and I am very dedicated to sharing as much as I can about the disability, I want try and tie back our current situation as best I can. Having CP has been described as feeling trapped in your body and not being able to do what you really want all of the time. Sounds a little familiar right? Difference is that we will overcome our current situation, unlike Olivia who will live her whole life with CP. Which is why we have to Be Strong and Stay Positive, always! Even with all that is going on in the world, Rick still thought of me and brought home my favorite flower, Orchids, during his last grocery outing 🥰

We can’t live in the past and wonder what could have been, what happened and who’s to blame. None of this will help or change Olivia’s disabilities, nor will it help end this Pandemic. However, we can do our best to work with Olivia and help her through therapy to overcome obstacles just as we can all do our best to work together to help stop the spread of this awful virus.

Even when I laid in the hospital bed not knowing whether the girls would make it or not, my family helped me stay positive. From that point on, I knew the only way to get through the tough times were to stay positive and focus on the future to keep moving forward. So that is what I am going to choose to do right now, even when it feels impossible and hard to think positive thoughts, that’s when I know I need them the most. I encourage everyone to think hard about all they are thankful for, and try to turn their negative energy into positive energy. Remember to stay strong for your family, and let’s make positivity be ‘contagious’!

Why I’m Taking the Coronavirus Seriously!

Posted on March 13, 2020 by Meghan Garcia

For anyone who knows me I normally do not stress easy or have major anxiety over things. I save all of that for Rick, cause if you know Rick then you know he stresses over everything, EVERYTHING. However, with what is going on in the world around us I am very scared and I am absolutely taking all proper precautions seriously. I have one important reason to stress though, Olivia!

Not going to lie, I am actually starting to have some PTSD over everything that is happening, as we already had to keep our girls quarantined and safe after we brought them home from the hospital. I lived in constant fear of keeping them healthy and free of illness because something as little as the common cold could send them back to the hospital. After everything they went through in the NICU, I couldn’t fathom them having to go back to the hospital. Now here we are over 5 years later, and I am scared to death of Olivia contracting the Coronavirus. Something that if she did get, could be a very-very dangerous situation.

I know that many people believe that only the elderly are susceptible to more serious cases, but so are those who have compromised immune systems. So for those who are not taking this current situation seriously or think it doesn’t apply to you, please remember those around you who are at risk and danger of becoming very ill. Olivia has chronic lung disease as result of being born an extreme preemie at only 24 weeks and 4 days. Part of her breathing or respiratory issues could also be a result of her having Cerebral Palsy (CP). Most likely it is a combination of both.

As promised in my previous post, let me spread some more awareness about CP! I think I should actually take a step back and give everyone a clear definition of what CP is. In short, Cerebral means having to do with the brain and Palsy means weakness or problems with using the muscles. This means there is a disconnect between what your brain sends to your muscles. CP is caused by abnormal brain development or damage to the developing brain. The symptoms of CP can range greatly from person to person, there is no such thing as a cookie cutter person with CP. Those with more severe CP may need to use special equipment to be able to walk, or might not be able to walk at all. Whereas, a person with mild CP may walk a little awkwardly, but might not need any special equipment. CP does not get worse over time, but with therapy could get better. In a nutshell, those with CP suffer from stiff muscles, uncontrollable movements and poor balance.

The next important thing to understand about CP is that most people with CP exhibit secondary issues like, deafness, blindness, intellectual disabilities, skin issues and even respiratory issues. So let’s look at respiratory issues because CP can directly impact breathing due to abnormalities in the muscles. Children with CP are more susceptible to respiratory complications like frequent upper respiratory infections, aspiration and even pneumonia. Hence, why I am overly concerned about Olivia contracting the Coronavirus as one can hopefully understand.

With all of this and all kidding aside, I truly hope everyone decides to take proper precautions to stay healthy and keep those most vulnerable in mind. Trust me when I say no one will be more bummed about ‘social lockdown’ than the Garcia Family, especially Gracie, my social butterfly!

CP Strong!

Posted on March 4, 2020March 4, 2020 by Meghan Garcia

For those who don’t know, March is Cerebral Palsy Awareness Month and it is a time to celebrate and educate! I know that it might sound weird to celebrate a disability right? But the reality is for those of us who live and breath the disability on daily basis, we see progress in our loved ones or ourselves and being able to educate others is definitely reason to celebrate.

Throughout the whole month of March, all of my posts will be about CP in one way or another. I hope by doing this I can spread awareness but also find ways to celebrate! So for today, I wanted to talk about how important it is to share and talk about different disabilities with your young children. The more we talk about them and educate our young children, the more accepting they will grow up to be as well as accommodating.

For example, yesterday while at my Gracie’s and Ricky’s softball/ baseball practices, a little girl who had been playing with Grace and her friends took notice of Olivia and started asking me questions. Mind you this is a very common thing that I have become used to. And I love it! I love that children ask me questions about her and they should. They usually ask me questions like, “why can’t she walk?”, or “can she talk?”, or “why can’t she hear?” or “why does she have that walker?”. All very valid and perfectly fine questions to ask me. I do my best to always sit down and explain in the most simplest way I can (depending on the age) to help answer their questions honestly.

There have been times that I actually had a parent come up and say, “Omg, I am so sorry!” and pull their child away. I get it, it’s more taboo right to ask up front what is wrong with someone? However, I find it as a learning opportunity and I highly encourage any parent of a non-disabled child to ask questions and let the parents or child explain. Because honestly, after I tell the children why she cannot hear or why she cannot walk, they sit and play with her. They engage her, and don’t treat her any different. Guess what happens next after that?! They meet another person in a wheel chair or with hearing aids and they don’t stare or make comments, they may go up and talk to them or they will do nothing because they understand and it’s not ‘strange’ or ‘different’ to them anymore.

One of my best friends here in Austin recently told me how blessed she was to have Olivia in her family’s life. She said not only did she love her but she loved how humbling her own children became after meeting Olivia. They protect her, talk to her, check in on her, help her and most importantly try to include her. I am so happy that Olivia was able to make such an impact in some kids lives, and I know that because of her they will grow up to respect those who may need a little extra help.

So please, please, please do not discourage your young children to ask questions about disabilities! It will greatly help all of us parents with disabled children as they grown up, to live in a less judgmental world. Well at least one can hope:)

Yes, I Got Taco Bell for Dinner Last Night…

Posted on February 25, 2020February 25, 2020 by Meghan Garcia

You know that baseball is back in season in our house when:

1. I am consistently scrubbing grass stains out of every load of laundry I do (which mind is about 500 loads per week!)

2. All you see thrown about my floor are cleats.

3. I am running (strike that, driving) all over Austin to get the kids to practice or tryouts or sporting goods stores for equipment.

4. All we eat is some form of take out!

I know Rick has touched on sports and coaching a lot already (yadda yadda), meanwhile I am here trying to hold all my ever loving you know what together. Trust me I love that my children play sports and I absolutely adore watching them learn, grow and play while with friends on the field or court. I do not want it any other way. But shoot it takes a toll on me that is for sure!

With Grace starting softball this past week and also about to start soccer, Ricky finishing basketball and about to start baseball – our lives are busier than usual. Hence, why I have been pretty quiet on the blog front. I am trying my hardest to find a couple extra minutes here and there but not gonna lie it can get hard to find that time for anything extra really.

For example, this past Sunday we left our house at 8:30am for Church school and did not return back home for the night until after 9pm. (Actually we did have about an hour where we stopped home to care for the pets and change.) Yesterday, I ended up keeping Olivia home from school because I thought she might have come down with something, I had to work a full day, then take all the kiddos across town for Grace’s 5:30 softball practice. Here is the rest of my week’s after school/ work schedule:

Tuesday = Ricky’s 1st baseball practice

Wednesday = Ricky’s basketball practice at my house

Thursday = Ricky’s basketball practice at the gym

Friday = (I don’t want to jinx anything, but I think I get a break!)

Saturday = Ricky’s baseball practice

Sunday = Ricky’s basketball playoffs

Y’all, big Rick might be trying to kill me LOL! And I know the stress and pressure lies even more on Rick, since he is the coach and all, but trying to plan or manage anything around these schedules is pretty brutal. My silver lining is that I get to watch the kids play sports obvy, but also that my life ‘might’ return back to normal in the summer, ha!

Ok so going back to me getting Taco Bell for dinner last night. First, I will admit that I do like Taco Bell. Yes, I said it! I do NOT think it is Mexican food by any means but sometimes I like eating a Crunchwrap Supreme just like I sometimes need a Big Mac in my life. Just saying! #sorrynotsorry Anyways, I got myself and the kids some Taco Bell for dinner because we left the field at 6:30pm and didn’t get home til 7pm, still had to eat, bathe and do bedtime routine.

I’d love to be that mom that always has everything together like clean house, folded laundry, perfectly fed kids all the time – but that’s not me. My house is usually clean cause I’m a neat freak, so I guess at least I have that going for me? But I never have the perfect trifecta, and usually it is dinner that gets let go. Even though, I actually love cooking! So any advice from people on what I can do here. How do I manage an insane school/ work/ sports schedule and still have a good meal plan in place? I know, I know meal prep on Sundays…would be great if I had time, but I really don’t. Or subscription boxes, I could see those being a good option but honestly I don’t like subscription things …. so I probably will not go that route. What other options do I have, any and all suggestions are welcomed!

Thanks all for listening to me rant a little, learn a little bit more about me (like that I enjoy Taco Bell lol) and for any advice you can share on managing time and feeding my family well.

A Diagnosis Will Not Define Us

Posted on January 30, 2020January 30, 2020 by Meghan Garcia

While I contemplated what my next post was going to be titled, I remembered something a doctor once told me. Something that has truly stuck with me and something that I now fully understand and work to live by. Back in Chicago, when Olivia was first ‘officially’ diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy, I was sitting in a downtown hospital room waiting for the doctor to come in and tell me what I (we) already knew. She was the most gentle, kind and honest doctor I think I had ever met and she hopped up on the hospital bed next to me and Olivia and broke it down like this. She said, “I am sure you are already aware that Ms. Olivia has Cerebral Palsy. And I am also sure that you are worried about what that means.” I quietly shook my head and nodded, fighting really hard to hold back big crocodile tears that I did not want her to see. She continued to say, “Cerebral Palsy or CP as we like to call it is simply a diagnosis. It does not define Ms. Olivia and it certainly will not determine her future. A diagnosis will help her receive the support and services she will need to gain strength and surpass all goals you set for her.” I sat for a minute, fought off the tears and agreed to use this diagnosis just as that, a diagnosis and not a definition of who Olivia is or what she can and will do.

Rick unfortunately was not with me at this appointment as we needed him to work hard and ensure that our future was going to be ok with him having a good job. So on the way home I remember driving down Lake Shore Drive explaining to Rick that Olivia does have what we feared most, but that everything was going to be ok and that this will help us get her the help she so dearly needs. He probably thought I was nuts because I was so calm, but I felt like I had to be in order to get through to all the things I was going to need to do next – to keep track of all the therapies, the equipment, speciality doctors, medicine and so on.

So why am I bringing this up today? Well, many reasons but I think it is important for friends and family to understand me and where I am coming from better. Rick and I try our hardest to give our children the best lives possible, we want to give them every opportunity to live life to the fullest. Therefore, we try not to treat Olivia too much differently than Ricky Bear or Grace. She goes and does just about everything with us, from sporting events both little league and professional to dinner dates to vacations to movies to neighborhood parties and list goes on and on. Our family is very social and we love every second of it, however, it is definitely not easy for any of us by any means.

When we go places we need to think if it will be easily accessible for a walker, wheelchair or stroller (depending on what we bring that day). Then we have to make sure and bring all the necessary things with to keep Olivia entertained for hours on end, because unlike our other two children and pretty much every other child in the group, Olivia cannot just run around and play. If we go to a restaurant with a playscape or a neighborhood block party, it usually means she may need to entertain herself in the stroller or in a seat because it might not be safe for her to use her walker. This also means, that Rick and I will take turns holding Olivia which can get very tiring for all involved. Needless to say, we have many things to consider and think about than the average parent making plans to take the kids out. I am ok with that, and you should be too.

I am not complaining and by no means want any sympathy. Rather, I ask that our family and friends know that we want to be included in all activities and bring Olivia to as many as things as possible. That we are not trying to be difficult if we need to change plans or do something differently to better accommodate our family’s needs. We want to make sure that Olivia can enjoy as many of these activities too. Also, I will totally admit that sometimes I can seem frustrated or maybe not as social as others at some events. Try not to hold it against me, I am a mom to a special needs kid first and probably have a million things going on in my head that is distracting me;) But as the title of this post implies, we will not let a diagnosis define this family and hold us back. We promise to give Olivia every opportunity to just be a kid and enjoy life just like the rest of us.

Also, I should note that as I try and write this post after I have worked a full 8 hours and have dinner cooking on the stove, I am also chasing Olivia around the house because she somehow stole a pen without me seeing and is writing all over my walls! {insert hand over face emoji} Olivia certainly thinks of herself as a typical 5 yr old and is not letting her CP define her, therefore neither shall I.

Gracie Girl – isms

Posted on January 24, 2020January 24, 2020 by Meghan Garcia

I need to take a minute to talk about my sweet baby girl, Grace. She was the first born of the twins, only by two minutes, but has absolutely taken on the role as the older, protective big sis. Gracie Girl, as we call her, is one of the most kind-hearted, fearless, playful, outgoing, loving kids I have ever met. While Olivia will melt your heart with her beautiful smile, Gracie will swoon you with her highly contagious laugh!

Grace has always been on the go, even in the NICU. She would always amaze the doctors and nurses by hitting all her milestones either ahead of schedule or bypass them together and move on to the next goal, which ultimately helped her leave the NICU one day before her actual due date. For an extreme preemie that is basically unheard of. They said she was setting new standards for all the babies in the NICU. While Grace did come home early and with minimal equipment or issues, she did have some bad days too in the hospital. Ugh, I specifically remember after her first eye surgery, we were there to be with her and she stopped breathing, she turned blue and needed to be resuscitated in front of Rick and I. Talk about an intense, scary situation and something that unfortunately I will never be able to forget. However, it is moments like these and those when she did great that make me cherish every single moment I get to spend with my beautiful Gracie.

For those who know Gracie now-a-days, know how fearless and fun-loving she is. Always ready for ‘what’s next!’ and spontaneous howling, especially at people she likes most. She is also known for her love of all things pink and dresses, but at the same time has the same amount of love for dirt and rough play. Last weekend after Ricky Bear’s basketball game and after we went out to a late lunch with a big group, Gracie proceeded to invite the entire team over for a party at our house. Trust me I am just as worried (as everyone who’s reading this) for her later teenage years…my little party planner!

So what prompt me to write about my Gracie Girl tonight? It was my 20 minute school pick up conversation I had with her while I was in the car today. Parents to little girls will understand just how many questions and words can stumble out of a 5 year old, but no one will actually prepare you for it. One other thing that you will also need to know about Grace is that she has an extremely great vocabulary, however her speech is slightly behind it and can sometimes be difficult to understand her. We call Ricky Bear her interpreter, ha! Anyways, put the 5 million questions, the way she talks, her beautiful little voice and that giggle together – what do you get? You get Gracie Girl – isms. Here is a 2 min snippet of what y’all missed in my car today…

“I really, really want to go back to Disney World Mom! Like tomorrow and all my friends have to go too.”

“When is it Easter, already?! Is it on Friday or a Sunday again I can’t remember? Is it in like 4 days?”

“I want to go on boat, when can we go on a boat again?! You promised we can go on it today.”

“Addy is my cat, not yours. Just so you know.”

(Randomly starts singing Jingle Bells – yes, it is January)

“When I get older I want a rainbow car.”

“Hey Mom, guess what it’s not froggy outside anymore!”

This literally will go on all day if you just pay attention or strike up a conversation with her and I absolutely love it! Trust me, I know first hand what it is like to have a strong willed, vocal, outgoing little kid and how tiring it can be. So any time I start to feel frustrated or just want silence, I remember how much of a little fighter she was way back when and think to myself how beyond blessed am I to be able to have these wonderful non-sensical little conversations with a little person who’s brain just will not stop thinking! I hope my Gracie Girl never changes and continues with all of her little -isms for as long as possible.

Treat Yo’Self

Posted on January 18, 2020January 21, 2020 by Meghan Garcia

If there are any Parks and Recreation fans out there, I am sure you can appreciate my blog post title for today;) But seriously as we get into the swing of weekend and are at the start of a new year, new decade, I thought I would let you all know some things I am doing for myself. Being a mom of three, with one child having special needs, can definitely take a toll on oneself. This is true of any mom or dad, as once you become one, your entire world shifts and your #1 priority is now focused on these little beings you created. So how do we make sure to not get lost in the daily grind and not completely loose who you are?

This year I have decided to dedicate more time to myself and ‘treating myself’ every once and a while. I have been taking a spin class 3 times a week, eating better, drinking less and overall feeling really good about myself. Not going to lie it has taken a long- long time to feel like I could do things for myself or feel good about myself. I am sure many other moms, especially those special needs mommas, have felt the same thing as me. For me personally, I have been focused on my kids, taking Olivia to all the 500 doctor appointments and my job. Yes, I have a full time job and I love every second of it. As crazy as it sounds, it keeps me sane, focused and grounded. Luckily, I work for a company that is fully remote which gives me flexibility in getting to appointments or schools. I truly do not know how I would be able to care for Olivia’s needs and work full time if I had to drive into an office every day. For those parents who have a special needs child and do have to go into an office each day, they deserve an extra big kudos!

Really quick, going back to how long it has taken me to get to this point. I remember when both girls were finally home from the hospital, I did not leave my house for 4 months. Yep, 4 whole months I barricaded myself and the kids in the house! Mind you there were reasons, trying to keep the girls free of sickness so they wouldn’t go back to the hospital but also because Olivia was on an oxygen tank. To move an infant around with an oxygen tank is one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do. So yes, I did not leave my house unless for a doctor’s appointment. Not even joking, I actually had a friend come to my house to cut my hair because I didn’t feel comfortable leaving Olivia in the care of anyone else while she was on oxygen. Prior to the girls coming home, my only other real interaction with the world was driving to and from the hospital to visit my girls. I felt so secluded and alone – no one should ever feel this way.

Fast forward to the past year or so, I have been doing much better about making sure I take some time to myself or with just Rick. I feel like a big part of that has to do with the amazing friendships I have built in the last couple of years and with me starting to work again. Now this year I am going to take an extra step to make sure that I am doing even more for myself, like going to the gym or getting my nails done or whatever it takes to make me actually feel good about myself again. Luckily I have an extremely supporting husband who has always encouraged me to take time for myself, and now I am beginning to open up and listen to him more. I am finally coming into my new normal, still focusing my time on my children but making sure I am happy first so they can be happy too! So as my title suggest, I encourage everyone, especially those who might feel lost or alone, to do more for yourself and do whatever makes you happy. Go treat Yo’self, you deserve it!

Me about to buy my first pair of spin shoes, so I don’t fall off the bike! LOL

Love Needs No Words

Posted on January 15, 2020January 15, 2020 by Meghan Garcia

Thanks to all of you who have liked our page or have signed up for the Our Special Kind of Life blog. My name is Meg Garcia and I too am 35 living in Austin, born and raised in Chicago. When Rick first approached me about starting a blog last week, I thought to myself how in the world will either of us have extra time to write each day. But then I realized there is never a good time for anything, might as well jump in and start. So here goes my first post…

As I sat, wondering what my first blog post would be about, I was stumped. Then out of nowhere a good friend of mine told me to check my front porch. So I did, and there was a bag with a t-shirt in it that said ‘Love Needs No Words’. It was from an organization called #GoShoutLove. Basically, they choose a child each month that has rare medical needs and they create a special t-shirt for them. All the proceeds from the t-shirts then go to help that family in need. Immediately, I start bawling my eyes out because of this amazing organization but also how perfect the message on the t-shirt was for me, personally!

I then knew right away that I wanted to write about this moment, this saying, what it means to me and how appropriately it sums up my last week and a half. I will have plenty of other days to go into detail about how we got to where we are but for now I will try to focus in the moment and incorporate things from our past as they come up.

My sweet Olivia is deaf, she is 5 years old and she has never spoken a word to me or anyone for that matter. However, she is loved and knows it, just as I am loved by her and I know it. Even though the L word has never actually been heard by either, we both feel it. I remember it very vividly, the day the doctors told us ‘officially’ that Olivia was deaf how heartbroken I was. Not for me, but for her and how much I was afraid she would miss and the fear of not knowing what the future would hold for her. But one important thing I have learned is that one doesn’t need words to feel, to do, to express themselves and they do not need words to live. She does all of these things plus much, much more.

(Olivia does have Cochlear Implants, which means she does hear sound if and only when she wears them. I will be sure to touch more on this and our journey through getting her implants at another time.)

This t-shirt and it’s saying ‘Love Needs No Words’ was given to me at the most perfect time. That is because Olivia started school last week! Yes, school! She is attending a special education program at an elementary school in a neighboring district. We are extremely lucky that this school specializes in teaching children who are deaf or hard of hearing. Amazing right?! The best part is not only has she been enjoying herself and is starting to show signs of interest in new things, but her teachers and classmates are the most KIND hearted and special people I have ever met. The teachers are so very patient with her and the kids talk to Olivia in sign language. Almost all of the staff at this school know sign language, some are even deaf themselves. Over 90% of Olivia’s classmates also have Cochlear Implants. I am really hoping that Olivia will start to want to keep her ‘Magic Ears’ on once she notices all the other kids in her class! Today at pick up Olivia’s teacher signed her the symbol for ‘I Love You’, again showing me that no words were necessary to know that one is loved.

One of my favorite moments from this past weekend was when I overheard Ricky Bear and Gracie talking to their friends about how their sister Olivia started school last week. (Talk about melting my heart!) They are so very proud of their sister, and so am I. Excited to see what this brand new year has in store for not only my sweet Olivia but my family!