bekind – Our Special Kind of Life

CP Strong!

Posted on March 4, 2020March 4, 2020 by Meghan Garcia

For those who don’t know, March is Cerebral Palsy Awareness Month and it is a time to celebrate and educate! I know that it might sound weird to celebrate a disability right? But the reality is for those of us who live and breath the disability on daily basis, we see progress in our loved ones or ourselves and being able to educate others is definitely reason to celebrate.

Throughout the whole month of March, all of my posts will be about CP in one way or another. I hope by doing this I can spread awareness but also find ways to celebrate! So for today, I wanted to talk about how important it is to share and talk about different disabilities with your young children. The more we talk about them and educate our young children, the more accepting they will grow up to be as well as accommodating.

For example, yesterday while at my Gracie’s and Ricky’s softball/ baseball practices, a little girl who had been playing with Grace and her friends took notice of Olivia and started asking me questions. Mind you this is a very common thing that I have become used to. And I love it! I love that children ask me questions about her and they should. They usually ask me questions like, “why can’t she walk?”, or “can she talk?”, or “why can’t she hear?” or “why does she have that walker?”. All very valid and perfectly fine questions to ask me. I do my best to always sit down and explain in the most simplest way I can (depending on the age) to help answer their questions honestly.

There have been times that I actually had a parent come up and say, “Omg, I am so sorry!” and pull their child away. I get it, it’s more taboo right to ask up front what is wrong with someone? However, I find it as a learning opportunity and I highly encourage any parent of a non-disabled child to ask questions and let the parents or child explain. Because honestly, after I tell the children why she cannot hear or why she cannot walk, they sit and play with her. They engage her, and don’t treat her any different. Guess what happens next after that?! They meet another person in a wheel chair or with hearing aids and they don’t stare or make comments, they may go up and talk to them or they will do nothing because they understand and it’s not ‘strange’ or ‘different’ to them anymore.

One of my best friends here in Austin recently told me how blessed she was to have Olivia in her family’s life. She said not only did she love her but she loved how humbling her own children became after meeting Olivia. They protect her, talk to her, check in on her, help her and most importantly try to include her. I am so happy that Olivia was able to make such an impact in some kids lives, and I know that because of her they will grow up to respect those who may need a little extra help.

So please, please, please do not discourage your young children to ask questions about disabilities! It will greatly help all of us parents with disabled children as they grown up, to live in a less judgmental world. Well at least one can hope:)

Gotta Have Faith!

Posted on January 24, 2020 by Rick Garcia

Happy Friday! Yesterday was a big day for Ricky Bear in the Catholic Church and for our family. In our blog, I will try to not talk too much about religion but I will from time to time as my Catholic faith plays a big part of my life and it has helped me a lot during the girl’s time in the NICU. However, we definitely will not be talking politics! Yesterday, Ricky received the Sacrament of Reconciliation and we were so proud of him! He’s been preparing for this and for his First Communion (coming this upcoming May) for 2 years now in Catholic Church school. For those not familiar with the Catholic Church, there are 7 sacraments and this is the second sacrament Ricky has completed. Baptism was the first. “The Sacrament of Reconciliation is one of the most unique and beautiful aspects of Catholicism. Jesus Christ, in His abundant love and mercy, established Sacrament of Confession, so that we as sinners can obtain forgiveness for our sins and reconcile with God and the Church. The sacrament “washes us clean,” and renews us in Christ. The kicker is you have to be truly sorry and remorseful. It was a great time for Ricky to reflect on what he is sorry for and how he can do better.

To quote scripture. “Jesus said to them again, ‘Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I send you.’ And when he had said this, he breathed on them, and said to them, ‘Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained’” (John 20:21-23).

Before we talk about yesterday, let me take a step back and talk a little bit about my Catholic faith formation. Like most kids in Chicago, I went to a Catholic grade school and then to Catholic High School. I am first generation Mexican American, my parents came to the US and settled in Chicago at a young age and started working right away. They worked blue collar jobs, they worked long hours and very hard to give me and my brothers opportunities they never had. They worked hard and did not want to put us in public schools as most inner-city schools weren’t great and they wanted us to get the best education possible. In school, we had religion class every day but most of my faith formation came from our household. We went to church every Sunday, prayed the rosary, all this was supplemented by what I would learn in religion class. I had religion class from 1^st grade to my senior year in high school. My parents taught me the importance and power of prayer and being a good child of God. This foundation shaped my faith even when it was tested in the NICU. To this day, I pray every day and try to be the best person I can be. I want to pass that same Catholic foundation on to my kids. My wife also went to a Catholic grade school and high school. Being Catholic is a part of our family and that is why it was a big day for us! This is Ricky before basketball practice on Wednesday preparing for Reconciliation and writing down his sins that he got absolved.

Upon moving to Austin, I quickly realized that Catholicism isn’t really a thing here. Most Texans in the area are Christian but not Catholic and it’s been hard finding fellow Catholic friends. I found this odd coming from Chicago where all my friends and family for the most part were Catholic. I had to do a lot of research and get a game plan together so Ricky can get his sacraments. We looked for a parish and then when the time came I set Ricky up for church school, this was 2 years ago and yesterday he had his first reconciliation. We are so proud of him, he took his preparation very serious. He goes to church school every Sunday, loves it and especially looks forward to donuts after. We have weekly talks about what he learned in class and while we did our church homework. He took it serious, he prepared and he understood what was going on and why we were doing them. Afterwards, we let him pick anywhere he wanted to go out to eat and celebrate and at first, he said Chick Fil-A and I said pick something nicer so he picked his favorite food, gyros haha. I am proud of my son and I will be there to show by example and be there every step of the way in his Catholic spiritual journey. God Bless.

Treat Yo’Self

Posted on January 18, 2020January 21, 2020 by Meghan Garcia

If there are any Parks and Recreation fans out there, I am sure you can appreciate my blog post title for today;) But seriously as we get into the swing of weekend and are at the start of a new year, new decade, I thought I would let you all know some things I am doing for myself. Being a mom of three, with one child having special needs, can definitely take a toll on oneself. This is true of any mom or dad, as once you become one, your entire world shifts and your #1 priority is now focused on these little beings you created. So how do we make sure to not get lost in the daily grind and not completely loose who you are?

This year I have decided to dedicate more time to myself and ‘treating myself’ every once and a while. I have been taking a spin class 3 times a week, eating better, drinking less and overall feeling really good about myself. Not going to lie it has taken a long- long time to feel like I could do things for myself or feel good about myself. I am sure many other moms, especially those special needs mommas, have felt the same thing as me. For me personally, I have been focused on my kids, taking Olivia to all the 500 doctor appointments and my job. Yes, I have a full time job and I love every second of it. As crazy as it sounds, it keeps me sane, focused and grounded. Luckily, I work for a company that is fully remote which gives me flexibility in getting to appointments or schools. I truly do not know how I would be able to care for Olivia’s needs and work full time if I had to drive into an office every day. For those parents who have a special needs child and do have to go into an office each day, they deserve an extra big kudos!

Really quick, going back to how long it has taken me to get to this point. I remember when both girls were finally home from the hospital, I did not leave my house for 4 months. Yep, 4 whole months I barricaded myself and the kids in the house! Mind you there were reasons, trying to keep the girls free of sickness so they wouldn’t go back to the hospital but also because Olivia was on an oxygen tank. To move an infant around with an oxygen tank is one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do. So yes, I did not leave my house unless for a doctor’s appointment. Not even joking, I actually had a friend come to my house to cut my hair because I didn’t feel comfortable leaving Olivia in the care of anyone else while she was on oxygen. Prior to the girls coming home, my only other real interaction with the world was driving to and from the hospital to visit my girls. I felt so secluded and alone – no one should ever feel this way.

Fast forward to the past year or so, I have been doing much better about making sure I take some time to myself or with just Rick. I feel like a big part of that has to do with the amazing friendships I have built in the last couple of years and with me starting to work again. Now this year I am going to take an extra step to make sure that I am doing even more for myself, like going to the gym or getting my nails done or whatever it takes to make me actually feel good about myself again. Luckily I have an extremely supporting husband who has always encouraged me to take time for myself, and now I am beginning to open up and listen to him more. I am finally coming into my new normal, still focusing my time on my children but making sure I am happy first so they can be happy too! So as my title suggest, I encourage everyone, especially those who might feel lost or alone, to do more for yourself and do whatever makes you happy. Go treat Yo’self, you deserve it!

Me about to buy my first pair of spin shoes, so I don’t fall off the bike! LOL